SG OwnBlog

There are some people whom you know are odd. By odd I don't mean with 3 eyes or stuff like that, that is quite normal. I mean people who lead normal lives but one look at them and you know they are mass murderers, serial killers or compulsive sex offenders etc. The unsympathetic eyes, the I don't give a f attitude and the staying aloof - all give you the signals you need. When you see these things in a person, and also add to that the 1000 yard gaze they have , sitting alone, all busy to themselves. Of course they won't have friends or even anyone to talk to. Know why? You know why - because they are serial killers at a minimum, they have their dark passengers. They kill and feel nothing and the life that you see in front of your eyes is just a facade they put up to cover their darker side. Look at the guy on the extreme left in this image - that's the stare I am talking about. So we have a serial killer in our office. I wish I could give you his name but well...

Yes the premonitions have returned. Remember the foreknowledge of bad things happening to people I care about/ or to me personally? The feeling of being lost, disturbed sleep at night, nightmares have all come back and I don’t like one bit of it. Under the circumstances this makes me wonder about the demons who supposedly left me about 3 years ago. Is this temporary or are these to stay again. Time will tell. That I may be running out of it is another matter altogether. Also a couple of things happened last week. Some were nice and some hurt, though I don't blame anyone. At office this friend of mine said that she sometimes worries if all the guys are like me. I was kinda taken aback - I knew what she meant. She was hoping that his boyfriend would not turn out like me. I reassured her saying that I am different, most guys are good. But it hurt like hell, the innocence and honesty with which she said that was like a grenade being lobbed under my chair. I somehow just control...

Going to work on weekends is the worst thing that can happen to you. In a week that is. And that happened to me. What did I accomplish? Not much actually, except the satisfaction of having wasted two perfectly good days of my life for no good reason. My Arduino kit, my pencil sketches and karaoke stints remained undone. Thank God for Monday, at least I will have a reason to be miserable. So here I am on a perfectly good Sunday, in office doing some dry runs that will NOT make any difference to this world. After many days of relative joy, I again feel the absence of it. It’s not the work that makes me so, I just can’t figure out the reason. Now don’t get me wrong – I am not feeling very low or something. Not at all, there are certain dark desires – true. But they are better left in the dark. No, I actually don’t feel anything at all, the comforting feeling of void is all over me again. I feel humbled by it – I am not scared, not anxious and not perturbed. Just silenced… That empt...

Life is a little strange now. At office the load is much lesser than it usually was just about a month back. It's true I miss both my daughters (they are not real, but that you can guess), but other friends and avocation keep me busy. Today was the birthday of one of Lali's friends. She's pretty, nothing gorgeous and glamorous, but eye catching. The kinda person I am, well, never mind. So I had every intention of going and 'wishing her'. Yes, I had to put that in quotes, because I just don't go to only wish a girl on my own. Things go from one thing to the next, and sometimes too quickly for me to keep track of. Perhaps Lali understood this and simply said that if I go and talk to her, she won't talk to me! She's sweet and the last thing I want was her to throw tantrums when my days are going quite okay. This picture has absolutely no relevance to this post, in case you are wondering. :D The other birthday was special not really to me, but I d...

This leave was hard to come by. For a few hours I thought I won't be able to come. Planned leaves getting cancelled - such a thing can occur to me. Twice in two years! And I am not surprised. Finally, with a lot of luck, some speaking and persuading, I got them and rushed home - quite literally. The day was cloudy and so was my mood. Ran roughshod over both Lali and Shwetha for the occasion. Lali understood, Shwetha, not so much. Before the day was out, I was lucky to get a G made by the MBA ( Most Beautiful Anomaly )

Life sure is tough. Chennai is not a bad place. The people are good enough. Problem is the weather. And my work. Also the company I am required to keep. The colleagues of mine are good. But wait – let me go into some details. I have come on a deputation from Bangalore to Chennai. I come to see a team that is practically 100 percent Andhra. Well, except for me that is. I am not against Andhra guys. But the problem is that when there is such an overwhelming proportion of one ethnic group, their native tongue will naturally be the lingua franca of practically every conversation. That is where my problem comes in. Nobody likes to come from Bangalore to Chennai to work, not even for four weeks. Add to that the communication problem and you get a desire to just get the fcuk out of the place to where you wish to. After a hectic day of work and other misc tasks, I came to my room and had a shower. This was when I felt kinda okay – for the first time in the day! I don't have a ve...

চেন্নাই তে বসে আমার প্রথম সপ্তাহ চেন্নাই তে কেটে গেলো। এই অফিস তা আমার একদমি পছন্দ হয়নি। আমি এর মধ্যেই বলে রেখেছি যে আমি বেঙ্গালুরুতে ফিরে যাব তিন সপ্তাহ পরে। এর বেশি থাকা আমার পক্ষে সত্তি সম্বভ হবে না।  মাঝে মাঝে আমি অবাক  হয়ে যাই এই দেখে যে মানুষ কত সহজে নিজেকে সইয়ে নিতে পারে।  যখন চেন্নাই তে যাওয়ার কথা জেনেছিলাম মনে হয়েছিল ২ দিন থাকতে পারব না। কিন্তু ঠিক ৭টা দিন কেমন সুন্দর কাটিয়ে ফেললাম।  আচ্ছা বেশ, সুখে আছি ইটা বলা ভুল হয়ে যাবে, তবে কাটিয়ে তো দিচ্ছি।  এভাবে ঈশ্বরের কৃপায় যদি আর তিনটে সপ্তাহ কেটে যায় তবে রক্ষে। তারপর আমি বান্গালোরেতে গিয়ে ভগবানকে ধন্যবাদ জনাব। বেঙ্গালুরুতে আমি যে কত ভালো আছি সেটা আমি চেন্নাইতে এসে বুঝলাম।

Some things sometimes escape me. This post I am writing without even thinking properly. I find it quite strange, interesting and scary to understand what is going on. I really like this girl. She is strong, has a personality, our frequencies match. I find her really nice and I admit that if this goes on I will be in love in no time!The next one and a half months will have all the answers for me. This is something I may begin to dread - this approaching deadlines and all. God knows what He has in store for me, but hopefully things turn out well - for me as well for her. I am not ashamed to say that I would like to be with her. <3 The present training is making me go nuts. Truly. Today was really disgusting. The day started pretty well, whatever was being taught - I could grasp it real well, but unfortunately after the afternoon, things changed and the assignments completely pissed me off. And oh yes, to catch the bus, she and I had to run and it was fun!

Life has changed so suddenly and so much so quickly. Just about a month ago things were something, and now, they are so different. It is difficult to sometimes fathom what is going on. I feel if this is all a dream, whether I will just wake up the next day in my home. My room. Talking about my room. It is nice. Top floor, but still nice enough. In any case I am content living here. I don't have a bed - that's all. It sure did take some time to get used to all this. Life in a city entirely by myself, the realization of being a grown up, necessity to take up responsibilities and so on. Thankfully the training is good, though sometimes gets boring. Besides I have got some excellent friends. So yeah, time goes by pretty well, hundreds of miles away from what I knew to be my home. First second module test was over. The Oracle results are not yet out. The Module Practical Test went pretty good enough for me thought the MCQs were not that good for me. Nevertheless UNIX tests were...

The first module test is over. I scored 81 percent. Not really killer stuff but I am ok with that. The test was on Pseudo Code and so I feel it was better to be done away with lightly. Slept most of the time in office today. Had a bad dream last night and a disturbed sleep. Nevertheless, the exam was fine. The Daily quiz before was a disaster. I don't know why. The answers were correct. Still I scored only 48 percent. Ankit believes it to be a system error. But in any case my marks won't change. :( After the exam we played Damsharaj for some time. I can't act in those situations. Not really a Hindi movie buff honestly. But I did my best. :P Migmar is the sweetest girl I have met here. Pandey ji the funniest. I will meet more. Till then wish me luck for the next Module tests. :)